Plantation Bitters vs. Hydroxychlorequine

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A social media friend last week shared Sean Hannity's testimonial for Hydroxychlorequine as a cure for the coronavirus, based upon the experience of some guy as recounted by some physician somewhere in New Jersey I believe. Needless to say, I'm a believer now, but am having considerable difficulty remembering how to spell Hydroxychlorequine. Can't pronounce it either.

So I was relieved to find an advertisement for Plantation Bitters on Saturday while reading the Aug. 10, 1869, edition of The Chariton Democrat. Obviously, this miracle cure is at least as effective as hydroxychlorequine if not more so and so I'm happy to be able to share the full text of the advertisement:

Extract from a Private Letter from

Hawai, Sandwich Islands.

Although the eruption is not so violent now, the volcano is a fearful sight to behold. The rivers of lava still flow, and the smoke from the crater ascends in awful majesty. During this volcanic upheaval it has been very sickly here. A peculiar sort of low malarious fever, which has grown out of the foul, condensed vapors of the volcano, has  prevailed to an alarming extent, and at one time it was feared it would depopulate the island. But fortunately, a sea-captain (calling here for supplies) distributed Plantation Bitters to the suffering, and quick and thorough cures were the result. The news spread like wild-fire. Messrs. Ching-Takin & Co., Commission Merchants, had these bitters for sale. In a short time their office was besieged and their supply exhausted. A steamer was dispatched to San Francisco by order of the Hospital Department, and a new and enormous supply obtained as soon as possible. From that moment the scourge was stayed. Not another fatal case occurred, and the epidemic has now entirely disappeared. Is this wonderful remedy already known in your city? I hope so, for it is a sure cure for all fevers and miasmatic sickness. You may tell your friends so for me.

The solution to our medical woes is obvious now. Research needs to focus on recovering the formula for Plantation Bitters. Testimonials suggest that this miracle potion is as efficacious as Hydroxychlorequine --- and easier to spell and pronounce, too.

That's the article: Plantation Bitters vs. Hydroxychlorequine

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